So what is this all about? Well it’s a bit of a story, so grab your beverage of choice and get comfortable!
A couple of weeks ago I was making plans to go to Cuba with a friend. For personal reasons, she had to back out. I couldn’t give my vacation back as the work schedule had already been turned allsorts of upside downs and sideways and it wasn’t as simple me saying I want my shifts back without disrupting four other people’s schedules. So I decided I have 10 days to go anywhere in the world, where should I go.
I have always wanted to go to the Orient – Thailand, Vietnam, Bali, Singapore – really anywhere in there. I started researching and I talked myself out of it. I gave myself good excuses – too expensive, not enough time, but when I say very still and thought about it, the real reason jumped out at me. Fear.
This was naturally a surprise to myself. I don’t consider myself a fearful person, but then I pondered that and you know, I think I have been fearful. I have limited experiences because of fear.
I haven’t joined a yoga class because I fear all the skinny girls will laugh at the fat girl in the room. I haven’t signed up for a cooking class because I fear everyone will look down at me and my poor cooking skills. I haven’t gone to high tea at Hotel Sask because I fear I won’t be high society enough. I haven’t signed up for a photo walk because I fear everyone will make fun of my photos. I don’t do spa things besides facials and pedicures because I fear the massage therapists will talk to all her friends about this hippo she had to give a massage to. I haven’t gone to that aquasize class because of fear everyone will look at me and cringe. I didn’t book that trip to Thailand because I fear looking stupid because I don’t know the customs/language. I didn’t apply for that job because I fear what if I did get it?
Then I start thinking of all the things I could do if I wasn’t fearful. Then what if I started conquering this fear. So this is my chronicle of conquering fear. I may write frequently, or it may be infrequent. I’ve made a list of things that I have been too fearful to do. And I am going to see how many I can scratch off my list before January 20, 2015.
I have to admit I am curious to see how it’s going to go.